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SpaceX Acquires Cannabis Recruitment Agency

Copy of Behind the headlines GERMANY (2)

SpaceX Boldly Goes Where No Aerospace Company Has Gone Before: Acquires European Cannabis Recruitment Agency to Spearhead Intergalactic Horticulture Initiatives

 

Following the triumphant third launch of its Starship, designed to someday ferry humanity to Mars, SpaceX, under the visionary leadership of Elon Musk, has announced what experts are calling “the obvious next step” in space exploration: the acquisition of Lumino Recruit, a London-based recruitment agency specialising in the cannabis industry. This move is poised to pioneer the first-ever cannabis cultivation and recruitment in outer space.

“Having mastered the art of rocket launches, the only logical progression was to enter the burgeoning field of space-grade cannabis cultivation,” stated a high-ranking official from SpaceX, who preferred to remain anonymous due to the groundbreaking nature of the project. “Lumino Recruit’s expertise in cannabis recruitment will be instrumental in staffing our intergalactic greenhouses with the best botanists and horticulturists the Earth has to offer.”

Lumino Recruit, known for its innovative approach to cannabis industry staffing, expressed excitement over their new role in this interstellar endeavor. “We’ve always aimed high, but space? That’s beyond our wildest dreams,” commented a Lumino spokesperson, sporting a bespoke spacesuit tailored for hydroponic horticulture.

The acquisition, hailed as “a giant leap for cannabis kind,” involves plans to establish the first extraterrestrial cannabis farm on SpaceX’s Mars colony. “Why Mars? It’s red, it’s hot, and it’s frankly the perfect environment for cultivating strains that are out of this world,” explained the SpaceX official, while presenting a PowerPoint slide titled “High in Space: The Final Frontier of Cannabis.”

Skeptics have questioned the feasibility of such an ambitious project, citing minor details like the lack of a breathable atmosphere and arable land on Mars. SpaceX engineers, however, remain undaunted. “We’ve thought of everything,” assured one engineer. “From hydroponic systems that can operate in microgravity to a new line of space-proof grow lights. Plus, with Mars’ reduced gravity, we expect some truly lofty plants.”

The international community has reacted with a mixture of astonishment, intrigue, and a dash of envy. “SpaceX acquiring a cannabis recruitment firm is indeed a bold move,” commented a diplomat who asked not to be named. “It certainly elevates the space race to, shall we say, higher stakes.”

 

About SpaceX

 

Founded with the goal of reducing space transportation costs to enable the colonisation of Mars, SpaceX is now pioneering the development of interplanetary horticulture, proving once and for all that the sky is not the limit. It’s just the beginning.

 

About Lumino Recruit

 

Lumino Recruit, thrust into the spotlight with its cutting-edge approach to cannabis recruitment, is now set to become the first agency to offer 100% Martian-made cannabis positions. From budtenders to botanists, Lumino is lighting the way to a greener future, both on Earth and beyond.

For more unbelievable space ventures and intergalactic agriculture news, stay tuned to SpaceX’s website and Lumino’s blog, where updates will be posted as soon as they materialise from thin air.

Oh, and happy April Fool’s Day…

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